Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

We hope you had a blessed day with family filled with love and joy remembering Christ's birth.

I know, its a day late...but we've been on the road visiting family!

We had great intentions of getting nice pictures this year in front of our tree (for the first Christmas in our new home) but by the time we got the wood floors in and the tree up, we were taking it down to head up north and spend time with family. So this is at my parents house :)

Kya always finds her way into pictures with the tree though!

Oh well...next year we will get them with a sweet little 9 month old!

We are home for today, cleaning the house and sanding the wood floors, so my dad can come and finish them while we are gone (that way my pregnant body doesn't have to smell all the chemicals.) 

Even though Christmas is always busy, I love that Matt works at a college and gets two weeks off! It has been so nice to sleep in together and not have to worry about an agenda and things to get done. We are so so excited to head out tomorrow morning for our babymoon! With all the parties and traveling in the last week though I must have picked up a cold somewhere from someone...and it has progressively gotten worse the last 3 days, so prayers that I heal up and am feeling better tomorrow and that Matt stays healthy and sickness doesn't try to ruin our vacation. I refuse to call my doctor and get the "I told you so lecture about not getting a flu shot" so heal body heal! Thankful for a relaxing day today for my body to recoup before we head out again tomorrow :)

30 weeks!

 

Today's date: December 20 - Merry Christmas!

How far along: 30 weeks! It's getting so close!

Total weight gain: I was down 2 pounds at my appointment last week, so I have probably about broken even now. It only goes up from here! :)

Size and growth of the baby: He is about 15 1/2 inches long and weighs about 3 pounds! I can definitely tell he is getting bigger...and the space in my tummy is getting more squished!

Sex: Boy!

Maternity clothes: Everything!

Sleep: What's that? I am tired a lot...but a good nights sleep is very rare.

Best moment(s) of the week: We finished laying all the wood flooring in our family room/dining room upstairs and kitchen and entryway! Such hard work! So glad to get it done before the baby gets here though.

Movement: A lot! And starting to get painful. Also new in the last few weeks. Hiccups :)

Food cravings/aversions: Give me some sugar! Yum! But anything to do with meat completely grosses me out

Morning sickness: Off and on still...

Symptoms: Just feeling uncomfortable and very pregnant.

Labor signs: None. Not even any Braxton Hicks.

Belly button in or out:  It is kinda deformed right now...the top half is an outie now...but the bottom is still in :/ so weird.

What I miss: Sleeping. Being able to sit on the couch with my legs pulled up. I have definitely noticed in the last week my belly has started getting in the way. Hitting counters. Making hugs awkward. I. am. pregnant.

What I'm looking forward to: Matt Pat's last day of work tomorrow for two weeks! Christmas with family! And then a vacation away with my favorite guy :)

Baby Shower!

We had such a busy fun weekend!

Thursday and Friday we were busy laying wood flooring in our upstairs with the help of my dad. Can't wait until it's done and our house is back in order! It looks so much better already though.

 

On Sunday we had our first baby shower! Even though the weather wasn't the greatest, so many people came out to shower us with love and gifts :) We feel so blessed by our family and friends!

We made these yummy peppermint chocolate marshmallow things for the hot chocolate :) They ended up going over pretty well since it was rather blizzardy and cold outside.

 

Green and orange seems to be our theme :)

  

The lovely hostesses. They made sure it was a unique and entertaining shower :)

Hence the reason we played very unique games...like spit the paci.

Looking over everyones baby pictures, trying to figure out who they are.

Opening gifts :) The adorable blanket my mom made to match our color theme. I wish we would have gotten a picture of the tiny hat to go with it. Seriously. The cutest.

 My momma and sisters :) Love them! They put together a great shower!

My precious hubby showed up afterward to help clean up and haul everything out to all the vehicles in the cold. He's the greatest :)

The most wonderful time

Christmas.

Its the most wonderful time of the year.

Right?

Sorta.

For this season filled with love and family and joy, it can also be one of the hardest times of the year for families. For some their tables aren't full, there are people missing, and holes left in peoples hearts.

Hug your loved ones. Mend broken fences and hurt feelings. Forgive. Because you never know when your life will drastically change.

December 9, 1994 was the date my brother died. The Christmas season has always been bittersweet. Such a joyous time filled with family and the celebration of Christs birth, but also a reminder of whats missing.

 ( ...someone threw my frisbee in the pond, hence my look of disgust)

Just a few years later on January 1st my cousin Josh was killed in a snowmobile accident. 

I know of others who have lost loved ones around this time of year. The pain is still very real. Probably more so for my aunts family than us. We have had more time to deal with the loss, more chances to cope. But nonetheless its still hard. 

I was only 5, which I think being young was good. I remember Josh's death and funeral much better than Alex's. But being pregnant now, I have thought about it more. Especially since I am a carrier for the disease that they say killed my brother, and since the child I am carrying is a boy. The doctors way back when told my parents that boys get the disease and that women are the carriers. However, when we consulted my doctor about it, he said he thought Matt would have to be a carrier for it too for the child to get it, but he wasn't sure. I think because it is such a rare disease, not much is known about it. I haven't done much research. Every now and then I will type it into google and see what comes up. It tends to be a lot of big words and medical jargon. I am sure advances have been made since my brother had it, I don't know though, I haven't looked into it much. Some may think that's irresponsible or even irresponsible to consider having a child knowing I am a carrier, but I say why?

We chose not to opt for genetic screening. Maybe sometime after his birth when things have calmed down we will, but not now. What good will it do knowing whether or not our child has it? Will I love them anymore or less? No. Will I be able to mentally prepare myself for what we would have to endure as a family? Not anymore than I already have been doing for the past 18 years. For now we are thanking God for this precious child he has blessed us with, and taking one day at a time.

God always knows what He is doing. Allowing us to get pregnant now, and with a boy. "...weeping may endure the night, but joy comes in the morning." Ps 30:5  This Christmas there is SO much to look forward to. My parents adoption is still finally going through, and in just a few short months we will have a precious little baby in the family.

I think this baby will bring a lot of healing to our family. Not so much a replacement, but a new kind of joy, a new life. I do believe we have already healed and coped well, or as well as you can cope losing your only son and best friend. We obviously aren't perfect, and we have fears and flaws from experiencing such trauma, but that is to be expected. Death changes people. The statistics on what the death of a child or sibling does to families is very frightening, but I think my family has done so well.

I don't think this baby will replace Alex, nor do I want him to. He can't. Nothing and no one can. I remember in my counseling a few years back when I was talking about getting married and wanting a family that my counselor said I need to heal before I go searching, because I can't put the weight of the absence of my brother on my husband, or our children. And have them try to fill that void in my life. I didn't understand it then, but before we got married...I learned. And it was so important and I'm so glad I did! We are talking about using Alexander for a middle name. Not as a way of trying to replace him or even really in memory, but out of respect and love. Plus its a super cute name! It could definitely still change, but we are loving it right now!

This year December 9 falls on a Sunday, which just so happens to be when we scheduled my baby shower. It is always kind of a dreary day of remembrance, but this year there will also be a lot of joy! Games and food and gifts and fellowship. We will be celebrating a brand new creation, a new life! Instead of simply mourning a loss. From now on December and January won't only hold the memories of sadness and hurt, but now also new memories of joy and life! This isn't moving on and forgetting. We will never forget, and we will always be changed, but this is good, and joyous and such a blessing from the Lord, and we are SO excited God chose now.

27 weeks!

Today's date: December 2

How far along: 27 weeks!

Total weight gain: Still down about 8 pounds.

Size and growth of the baby: He is about 14 1/2 inches long and weighs about 2 pounds! Grow baby grow!

Sex: Boy! At least I'm hoping all these dreams that I've been having about him coming out a girl aren't true!

Maternity clothes: All maternity pants. Some maternity shirts, some normal...depending on how long and stretchy they are :)

Sleep: This past week has been terrible! I figure eventually my body will realize how tired it is and I will get a good night of sleep.

Best moment(s) of the week: Our maternity shoot yesterday was so fun! I love all the pics I've seen so far :) AND our crib came and is set up! I love seeing the nursery come together!

Movement: A lot! And getting stronger!

Food cravings/aversions: Same ole same ole. Not much ever sounds good...

Morning sickness: Off and on still...

Symptoms: My first stretch mark :/ and it keeps growing!

Labor signs: None yet.

Belly button in or out:  In - but that sucker is getting shallower by the day!

What I miss: Just being comfortable.

What I'm looking forward to: My first shower next weekend! And our babymoon at the end of December! :)

The final countdown!

I totally just realized today that there are less than 100 days until my due date!

 

Yay! 91 to be exact.

91.

We are getting so close to meeting the little guy! :)

We had fun at a maternity shoot earlier today. I can't wait to see all the pictures! The ones I've seen so far turned out great :)

Have a blessed day of worship and rest tomorrow, friends.

Motherhood is calling

Yesterday was one of those days, and last night was one of those nights. You know the type...

Just-no-fun-wanna-go-to-bed-and-not-talk-or-see-anyone types.

Too bad when I went to bed, it didn't help. I was really nauseous, so I couldn't fall asleep and then my mind started racing. Thinking about the next 3 months...and the next 20 years. As I've mentioned before I had hormone problems, so much so, that my body didn't ovulate (we still don't really know how I got pregnant, but I crack that up to God and His miracle-working abilities) Due to that, I was previously very emotional, however, since being pregnant...I haven't been. Everyone always talks about the "pregnancy hormones" making you do and say crazy things and be overly emotional. Not my case at all. Matt and I have been loving it! I have been more emotionally stable the last 6 months than I can remember. 

But sometimes you just stress. And that was totally me last night. 

Everything to do still before the baby comes.

Unmedicated natural birth

Cloth diapers

Sicknesses and problems the baby could have

Traveling and Christmastime

What if he rebels?

The condition of our house (messy houses stress me out, and right now we have carpet ripped up and wood flooring strewn about everywhere waiting to be put in!)

Will we be good parents?

Disrespectful kids

A baby like me (lets be honest, the Lord has a lot of preparing to do of me and Matt if we are going to have a sickly screaming baby like I was...)

What to do for birth control once he's here (we have never used anything before...personal convictions)

Something happening to Matt (not to be morbid, but I have an irrational overwhelming fear of this. Probably due to other circumstances previously in my life, but since I have been pregnant this fear is intense...)

What people think about us and our parenting style

Money (we put a couple thousand in savings specifically for baby stuff awhile ago, but its still stressful seeing it go away on such big expenses)

Sleepless nights

Circumcision

Being sick of being sick...how many more weeks till he's here again?

What if it comes out and is a girl?!

I honestly thought about it all. Me praying for a good night of sleep last night totally didn't happen. And my precious hubby came in before he left for work to rub my back and give me a massage in hopes I could get some sleep, but it didn't work, so I got up early, got some breakfast and did my devotions. And lo and behold the first verse I see...

Matthew 6:34

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I obviously know the verse, but it definitely struck me today. Don't worry. So simple, right? While we were talking about some of this stuff the other day Matt Pat said something similar. He is honestly my better half, I have always respected him for his level-headed thinking in my craziness.We just need to focus on one day at a time. Yesterday (this was a week or so ago when we were talking) we finished up the painting and carpet in the nursery. We have the wood floor here and we can put it in soon. We will order the crib and mattress next week (we have since then done so! I can't wait for it to arrive!) He said that every day we just need to focus on one thing to do, and in no time things will come together. And once the baby is here anyway, the Lord will guide us how to parent, what to do in certain circumstances, and we will learn along the way. Yup, we will make mistakes, but we will learn and it will better us. That is one of the reasons we got married "young." We love experiencing life together, making decisions together, learning and growing together "two are better than one...Ecc 4:9" And with the Lord at the head of our marriage and family, we have no reason to stress or worry.

Motherhood is calling. A little life that God entrusted us to raise for His glory. He obviously thought the time was right, and He chose us for a reason, and even though it stresses me out at times, this is a blessing, and I need to remember that. I need to remember that now, and I need to remember that 3 months from now when I haven't had sleep for 3 or 4 nights, and I am holding that screaming baby wondering what to do. This is a blessing. And I look forward to the journey of parenthood.

Babymoon and time well spent

Ever since I heard the idea of a babymoon, I loved it! Getting away to spend some time with each other before the baby comes and turns your life upside down. We hope to get away with just the two of us before each of our babies are born. This time is the easiest, because we don't have any kiddos yet. Thankfully, we were both blessed with great parents who have already said they will be more than willing to take the kids for us when we need to get away for awhile. However, I have a feeling future "babymoons" will be more like a long weekend, instead of the larger trip we are doing this time.

A babymoon gives us time to relax, recoup, and rejuvenate our marriage. I am so excited to get away with just my Matt Pat! Even though I am no longer working, and people think we spend a lot of time together...we really don't. At least not quality time. A lot of times in the evenings I am helping him with his homework (so romantic and fun, huh?), or we are working on something in the house (trying to get it all done before baby comes!) And the time that normally would be just for "us" time, weekends...we are almost always gone. We visit our families...a lot. Don't get us wrong, we love it, and we love being close to them, but that doesn't give us intentional time with each other. And there are times, especially in this season around Thanksgiving/Christmas that it becomes almost like a chore. Where are we going this weekend? Whose house haven't we stayed at in awhile? Which family needs time now? It becomes monotonous and not all that fun. 

Matthew 19:6

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let NO ONE separate."

I think all too often our marriages are interrupted by people. Probably not intentionally, but life just gets in the way. There is a party this weekend, or family wants to visit, or so on. And our marriages get pushed aside. Nothing too dramatic, maybe just not time to talk or pray with each other. And that builds up and after awhile you realize its been weeks since you have spent intentional time with each other. And that is what we want to avoid. That is something we struggle with, probably because we are so close to our families. But above all else, our marriage should come first. And even though telling family no to things might not be the most fun in that moment, it makes things much better in the long run. We aren't going to have time (especially once we have kids in our life) to get away on a trip once a week, but just making that daily time to talk and pray is important, or getting out of the house once a week on a small date. It seems small, but to us it makes a huge difference. We are happier and everything seems to flow smoother. Plus, then when we are gone visiting family, we aren't angry with each other or resenting them for having 'one more thing' we need to be at, and we can enjoy ourselves more. 

All in all this trip is MUCH needed. Our marriage isn't suffering at all, actually thanks to my pregnant body fixing my messed up hormones, we are better than we've ever been! But we realize our marriage is top priority, if our marriage isn't stable, everything falls apart. And with a baby on the way, we want to instill that rock solid foundation and go into parenthood on a strong note. I am in the process of looking for a devotional/book we can read and work through on our trip to instill good values to work on so they become good habits. So if you have any ideas, let me know!

Our original plan was to go to a marriage conference or retreat, but we couldn't make that work out, so we will be going on a road trip. Making stops in Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin. Matt's cousin is getting married in Wisconsin, so halfway through our trip we will meet up with family there and celebrate with them! We are honestly SO excited for this trip...probably more so than we were for our honeymoon. These last few months together before baby boy comes are so precious to us, and we think working on our relationship with God together and our marriage is the best way possible to prepare for having a baby.

*prayer requests - Safe travels. My health - I am still getting sick off and on, and car rides and eating out are two of the worst things. So prayers that my body handles food and travel well, because it wouldn't be very enjoyable for either of us otherwise. Thanks so much! I am sure once we are back from the trip I will post about how it went :)

Happy Birthday Mother Lynette!

Just thought I would give a shout out to my beautiful mama on her birthday!

She is such an amazing stronghold and source of comfort in my life, and I am so thankful God chose her to be my mother.

There are few people that I know that have had to endure more in their life, and even less that came out on the topside of it. Growing up poor, the 11th of 12 children, losing her only son, and then the roller-coaster of foster-care/adopting 4 little ones is more than enough to make a person break. Not to mention her everyday work at her job and home and the numerous things she leads or places she volunteers her time. I dont know how she does it all, but somehow she does. And she does it well.

Now that I'm expecting, it brings about a whole new level of respect I have for her. The love I feel for my unborn child is so strong already, and he's not even here yet! I can only imagine what she feels when she says her heart is walking around outside in all these different bodies and places. I am sure as the years go by and I experience more "life" especially in this newest phase called parenthood, we will only grow closer. And I wouldn't want it any other way. I know so many people who aren't close to their siblings or parents at all, and I couldn't imagine that...mine are my best friends! Who better to go to for advice, or to drop the kiddos off for a weekend? I can't wait to see her in the role of a grandma, I'm sure its just one more area she will excel and provide love and a Godly example and discipline to another precious little life. 

 

Photo from Matt's beautiful cousin Erica at Erica Baker Photography

I actually had a hard time finding a picture of the two of us. Probably because her or I are usually the ones behind the camera. So that is my goal for this long Thanksgiving weekend, to get a lot of pictures of her with her kiddos :)

I didn't even know this was a verse, but ran across it the other day, and there is nothing I would love more than to turn out like my mom, and yes, just like everyone says...the older I get, the more I realize how similar we are. I don't mind though :)

"As is the mother, so is her daughter."
Ezekiel 16:44

Love you mumsy!

25 weeks

25 weeks! 

Look at that bump...I love it!

 

Is there seriously only 15 weeks left until we meet our little man? Its hard to believe how fast it is flying by! 

And I have a feeling that with Thanksgiving and Christmas and baby showers and weddings and everything going on the next two months, it is even going to start going faster!

Today's date: November 18, 2012

How far along: 25 weeks

Total weight gain: Still down about 9 pounds.

Size and growth of the baby: He is about 13 1/2 inches long and weighs about a pound a half!

Sex: Boy Boy Boy!

Maternity clothes: All maternity pants. Some maternity shirts, some normal...depending on how long and stretchy they are :)

Sleep: Waking up about twice a night. But sleeping much better thanks to my boppy maternity pillow!

Best moment(s) of the week: I snuggled up next to Matt the other morning in bed, and he started laughing because he could feel the baby through my stomach kicking his back.

Movement: A lot! He is an active little guy.

Food cravings/aversions: Still pretty much have aversions to everything except crunchy apples!

Morning sickness: Off and on still...

Symptoms: My first stretch mark :/

Labor signs: Way too soon.

Belly button in or out:  In - but that sucker is getting shallower by the day!

What I miss: Just being comfortable.

What I'm looking forward to: Getting the new carpet in the nursery this week! Then we can start getting things set into place for the little guy!

moving forward

Since this is my very first blog post, I don't really know what I am doing. These first few posts are just going to be me trying out different things, learning the ropes of the blogging world. I hope you stand by with me as I learn.

It's hard to believe I am already over 6 months into my pregnancy! Aside from the nausea and constant feeling of being sick, it really has flown by. Now that things are starting to come together and the anticipation is getting to us, we are wanting more and more for the days to fly by so we can meet our little man.

This was a few weeks ago at 23 weeks, I am loving that I am starting to look pregnant!

I truly feel like I have doubled in size since then though! It truly is amazing how fast the little guy is growing. My beautiful cousin Jasey had her firstborn a few days ago, 10 lb 6 oz! What a trooper! She was amazing. So due to the fact that our little guy is only about a pound a half right now, I have no reason to complain. 

I pray that Matt and I take things in these last few months. Enjoy the holidays and time with family. Enjoy my growing belly, and all the "not so" wonderful pregnancy symptoms. Even the stretch marks...yes, I already have one tiny one! Enjoy all the little things to do and buy, because before we know it, this time will be over. It won't be just Matt and I any longer. And all this naivety of all these "firsts" will be over. We will have a whole new life that is completely dependent on us. And as much as we look forward to this new chapter in our life, we understand there are going to be huge changes, and we pray God prepares us for all the battles that parenthood has to offer.