Thoughts on being a SAHM

Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) has quite a few stigma associated with it.

I've been struggling with it for the past few weeks.

It may or may not have something to do with Reagan being a little hellion the past two weeks...

but anyway...

Here are my thoughts.

*pre-warning: this will probably be a long post. I am wordy.*

One of my friends told me once that being a SAHM is one of the loneliest jobs there is.

I totally blew it off and thought...how can that be? 

You are home in your comfort zone

Spending time with people you love

Having playdates

Cooking fun dinners

And playing with babies

You have a free schedule to do whatever you choose to with your kiddos.

It looks a lot more like:

Screaming babies

Poopy diapers

Puke

Pee

Endless laundry

Trying to find meals that are quick yet your family will enjoy

A t-shirt and jeans

Greasy hair in a ponytail

.....

You get the gist of it.

My view was totally off.

There is a lot of give give give in motherhood.

And so far there isn't much reward.

Yes, I love when he smiles and coos at me or lights up when I walk in a room.

But there isn't really any payoff.

Not yet anyway.

I don't regret what I do.

Matt and I made the decision for me to stay home.

And I love that I get to.

To do this Kingdom work.

To raise the future generation.

And gift that God has granted to me.

But it is hard.

Harder than I thought it would be.

Cue the "my mother was right" speech

Putting up with the stigma of being a SAHM is hard.

The degrading looks and feeling of disapproval when people ask what you do and you say "stay home"

This should be something that should be celebrated.

It is not for everyone. But that does not mean it is wrong in any way.

Just as other mothers choosing to work isn't wrong.

But I hate the "fight" between mothers who work out of the home and mothers who work in the home.

And you all know its there.

The feeling that one is superior or inferior to the other.

We are all mothers.

And we are all wanting and doing what we feel is best for our families.

I think as mothers it is important for us to encourage one another and to connect with each other.

I really lack the latter.

I am not really the most outgoing type.

When we lived in Grand Rapids, we were newly married and just clung to each other and our newlywed love <3 ha

And then we moved to Cedar Springs. We knew no one and shortly after moving I got pregnant.

And then the next year flew by...and here we are.

We don't really have any friends in the area.

And because we go up north so often we haven't gotten involved in a church.

Its bittersweet.

We love our families and being up north.

But we are so lonely down here.

Especially during the week.

Part of the problem is...we are young.

Most friends our age aren't even married yet...much less have children.

So trying to connect with people is just different.

And we are also busy.

With Matt taking classes it takes up so much of his time and energy.

And that is just all the more extra time that I am on my own on mom duty.

So I am struggling with how to get involved and not go crazy listening to my boy fuss and fuss and fuss for the last two weeks.

Plus I am struggling with how to meet people.

I'll be honest. 

I people stalk. 

I walk through Family Fare and pick out possible mom friends.

Or possible married couple friends.

Yup. I'm totally crazy.

But it is hard. 

That balance between being home and caring for my family.

And connecting with other mothers.

Sharing our hearts and getting that support that we all need.

So tonight I encourage you to support one another.

Give that mother with the screaming baby at the grocery store a hug.

Cause we've all been there.

Or a whisper that "It'll be ok"

Cause sometimes you really feel like it won't

But it will.

And we all need those reminders.

It seems like every night lately I have been praying the 2 Corinthians verse about not losing heart...

So carry forth mothers. 

We are all in this together.