Goodbye Something Wonderful

As you can see I have changed things up...again.

I still have more to do.

I am still trying to figure out how to customize my text. 

Whenever I add an exclamation point to my current text...it looks like an "L" at the end of the word.

See!

It has been bothering me.

I also want to add links to my pinterest and instagram and so on...but I haven't figured that out yet.

So bear with me...
Does anyone else feel like my blog is just like a scrapbook that I keep changing the pages of?
Because my husband does...

I also changed up the name.

Goodbye Something Wonderful.

When I created this blog a few years ago I literally thought for about 30 seconds and thought "oh...you can find "something wonderful" at all times in all aspects of life" and then just kind of went with it. It seems so juvenile though...so I have been thinking for a little bit about a new name.

Insert cute picture of Reagan for fun :)

His tuft is coming back!!

I wanted to do something clever using our street name.

Matt nixed that idea and said he didn't want me putting that on my blog for the crazies to track us down.

So somehow "the springs" came to mind.

A few days ago in my devotions was the verse:

John 4:13 "Whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Matt said I should come up with a title that has something to do with contentment.

I kind of agreed. 

I know many people who struggle with being content in their current situation.

Ourselves included.

So I decided to incorporate the two together.

When you aren't content you are always wanting more. 

Things that are bigger and better.

And these things only satisfy for a short time until we need and want even more.

The life-giving water that Jesus talks about in that verse is never-ending and will fill our soul with all it needs.

So that is where the new title comes from.

To remind myself where true contentment comes from.
That I need to live and love and learn right now where we are currently at in life.
The size of our family.
The location of our home.
Matt's schedule...
Because there is SO much happening right now.
Right now does matter because we are making an impact on eternity.
If we are constantly striving for trivial things our "thirst" will never be quenched.
Sometimes when our wants and "needs" don't line up with God's current plan it is hard to understand and be happy, but it is such a comfort to know that God has given us everything we need.
That wherever we are in life He will satisfy and we can display his grace to others.

Oh..and the clever part of the title...because we do currently reside in "the springs"

;)

Weekend to Remember

Matt and I got back Sunday evening from our Marriage Retreat and I have been wanting to write a post about my thoughts from the trip, but I just haven't been sure what to say.

As I've said before: I have wanted to go to a Marriage Conference ever since we were engaged.

First off...I am glad we didn't go when we were engaged.

The whole thing would have been awkward.

Where do you go when everyone else went back to their hotel rooms?

And the "marriage after dark" session. 

Ha!

 I would have been mortified if I was a young engaged lady.

But anyway...onto our trip!

Saying goodbye wasn't so bad.

I only felt like tearing up a few times.
The first night was hard. I missed Reagan, but for the most part I think we all did well.
I think it helped that he did so well.
My mom said he was a little angel
 

I LOVED our speakers!
Kudos to FamilyLife for picking them...and I am sure all the other speakers are just as fabulous.

They kept us engaged and interested, told stories of their personal feats and failures, and were HILARIOUS!

Most importantly they were genuine Christians, people I would like to learn from, people I could relate with.

It was defintely not what we expected though.

It was not a vacation.

Even though we got away from Reagan...I think we were more tired when we got home than we were when we left.
They keep the weekend jam-packed.
When you aren't in sessions, they give you projects to take back to your room and work on.
Really the only free time was Saturday evening that they had set aside for date night.
I think it would have been a little different if I wasn't still breastfeeding. Pretty much on every break I had to run back to the room and pump.

 I am SO GLAD my body responds to my new pump :)
I pumped off between 30-40oz a day.
I would have been in a lot of pain if I couldn't have pumped...

Anyway, back to the retreat.
They mentioned that every marriage is either moving toward oneness or drifting towards isolation. There isn't really an in between.

And that kind of hit home for me.
Even though Matt and I's relationship wasn't suffering, we had gotten quite comfortable and lackadaisical in our marraige.
It's sometimes hard to be intentional about my marriage when Matt is gone 16 hours a day or when I feel like I've given all I can to Reagan during the day and there isn't anything left in the evening.
I know I have heard it before, but one of the speakers gave the airplane oxygen mask analogy:
"put your mask on, and then help others around you"
Our marriage needs to be infused so that we can give and display love to our children and friends and family.

This is the only picture we took of the two of us while we were gone. I even brought my good camera and everything, but the few pics we did take were with Matt's phone.
I guess it isn't as much fun to take pictures without a sweet little babe in them.

Another thing that we discussed was the different roles God has designed for husbands and wives.
This was probably one of my favorite parts of the weekend!
well...and the marriage after dark session ;)
We broke up into groups of men and women...and then discussed our corresponding roles.

I have struggled in the past since having Reagan what my role is.
And I know some of that is in part to our society and their skewed view of success.
When you describe how the man is the leader of the home, and how a women was made to be his helpmate and submissive to his leading...it often leaves a bitter taste.
Being referred to as your husband's "helper" is not the vision most woman want.
I found it interesting that God even refers to Himself as our helper.
"Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the updolder of my life."
Obviously he wouldn't call himself an unworthy name.

I sometimes think as stay-at-home moms we feel we have to defend our families decision.
I see many people posting blogs and articles proving just that.
While I almost always agree I rarely try to post or say anything about it.
I know there is no swaying other people's opinions of us...of me.
I just need to know that in my heart that this is where I should be.
That this is where God has called me right now.
And how that if I am within His will nothing else matters.

A wise woman embraces God's design for her home.
While I may get more gratifaction from others if I worked outside the home.
That is not where I am called to be right now.
And that gratification will fall short in eternity.
I need to embrace this time at home.

To love on my husband and children

To serve them

To respect and support Matt

To teach and train our children.

To choose to be the woman, the wife and mother, that God designed me to be.
Life is full of choices.

It just clicked in my heart while they were talking, and my outlook has changed.

Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her:"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceitful, and beeauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:28-30

Yup, sometimes I don't get any gratification.

There are a lot of days that I don't get any breaks and feel like going crazy.

There are times when I see my husband succeed over and over again and can't help but feel like I am overlooked. That all my "behind the scenes" work is null.

But the Lord sees.

And that comforts my heart more than anything.

I know Matt notices too...and this retreat kind of opened his eyes to me needing his reassurance as well.

Let me just add a disclaimer that I have nothing against moms who work outside the home.
Because I know some people will read this and get all angry.
If we were in the position financially that I needed to work, we would figure out details and I would.
And if God laid on my heart that I needed to be outside the home doing something else I would definitely be praying and trying to figure out just where God wanted me.

That is not the case right now...so I am just writing this based on what touched my heart, and where we currently are in our life. So just keep that in mind.

So those were some of my favorite parts of the trip.
Some of the things I found interesting or that really hit home for me.
All in all I am SO GLAD we went.
I highly recommend that you go to a marriage retreat as well.
It was good for our marriage.
It was good for us individually.
And I am so glad we left Reagan.
The first time is always the hardest...and now I know that he (and we!) can handle it!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Right?

 

We leave for our little getaway in 3 days.
-insert tear filled sob-

And no, everyones opinion on the matter doesn't help at all.
Oh...my son is only 8 months old and I am still breastfeeding him?
I didn't realize that...thanks for clarifying.
I can totally picture my mom cringing right now that I am being sassy
*sorry mama*

I have had 4 people tell me (3 in a roundabout kind of way, and 1 directly) that I shouldn't be leaving Reagan for so long, or so soon.

I can assure you I have already thought up every.single.scenario that can and WILL happen while we are gone.
I have thought of all the worst case possibilities and all the "what ifs"

Just as in many other instances in the past 8 months (and a few a lot more to come over the years) I need to relinquish control.
God has entrusted Matt and I to be Reagan's parents.
And along with that comes the responsibility to make decisions for the best interest of Reagan and our family.

We aren't doing our family any justice if Matt and I never get away.
I know I sound like a broken record...but when we are home...we are busy.
I am 24/7 wife and mom, because Matt is 24/7 work and college.
We don't really have friends or family down here and we don't get breaks.
I know this season in our life is almost over...hopefully only a year left!
But right now it is hard.

This little getaway is for our marriage.
Because our marriage and faith is the base of the pyramid on which our family stands.
And right now we are in the trenches of life.
College, marriage, parenting our first baby.
We need to instill firm values now so that they become good habits.
We have come a long way in our marriage of almost 3 years...but there is always room for improvement and always things to learn and work on.

So in 3 days we will leave our son for the first time for an extended period of time.
Overnight.
Twice.

-We (read: Hanna) will probably cry.
-Reagan might too.
-He WILL probably be confused and miss us.
-He might not want to nurse when we get home
(I highly doubt that...but it might happen) But guess what? Remember when I wrote this post about giving Reagan formula for the first time? That was almost 4 months ago...I got 4 more wonderful months of breastfeeding him. And for that I am thankful.
-His schedule will be off.
-Our schedule will be off.

You know what else though?

-Reagan is going to have a heck of a time with my family.
He loves my siblings somethings fierce (seriously...Jordan can make him laugh like no other. He is SO GOOD with him)...and there is no one I can think of better than my mom to watch Reagan.
-He will have so much fun and be so entertained. He will be kept busy and distracted the entire time.
-Matt and I will have fun.
-We will go on dates
(...say what?)
-And get to dress up...without having my necklace or earrings ripped out!
-We will get to SLEEP IN *gasp*

When we come home we will all be rejuvenated and more than ready to see each other.
And bonus...Matt took Monday off too, so we will have an entire day to recover and enjoy ourselves as a little family :)

There is a quote somewhere by someone that says
"do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway..."
Eleanor Roosevelt, I think?

This is what is right for our family right now.
Yup, you bet it will be hard.
But I also know great things will come from our short trip away.
Things that will benefit our family greatly.