Matt and I got back Sunday evening from our Marriage Retreat and I have been wanting to write a post about my thoughts from the trip, but I just haven't been sure what to say.
As I've said before: I have wanted to go to a Marriage Conference ever since we were engaged.
First off...I am glad we didn't go when we were engaged.
The whole thing would have been awkward.
Where do you go when everyone else went back to their hotel rooms?
And the "marriage after dark" session.
Ha!
I would have been mortified if I was a young engaged lady.
But anyway...onto our trip!
But anyway...onto our trip!
Saying goodbye wasn't so bad.
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The first night was hard. I missed Reagan, but for the most part I think we all did well.
I think it helped that he did so well.
My mom said he was a little angel
I LOVED our speakers!
Kudos to FamilyLife for picking them...and I am sure all the other speakers are just as fabulous.
Kudos to FamilyLife for picking them...and I am sure all the other speakers are just as fabulous.
They kept us engaged and interested, told stories of their personal feats and failures, and were HILARIOUS!
Most importantly they were genuine Christians, people I would like to learn from, people I could relate with.
It was defintely not what we expected though.
It was not a vacation.
Even though we got away from Reagan...I think we were more tired when we got home than we were when we left.
They keep the weekend jam-packed.
When you aren't in sessions, they give you projects to take back to your room and work on.
Really the only free time was Saturday evening that they had set aside for date night.
I think it would have been a little different if I wasn't still breastfeeding. Pretty much on every break I had to run back to the room and pump.
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I am SO GLAD my body responds to my new pump :)
I pumped off between 30-40oz a day.
I would have been in a lot of pain if I couldn't have pumped...
Anyway, back to the retreat.
They mentioned that every marriage is either moving toward oneness or drifting towards isolation. There isn't really an in between.
And that kind of hit home for me.
Even though Matt and I's relationship wasn't suffering, we had gotten quite comfortable and lackadaisical in our marraige.
It's sometimes hard to be intentional about my marriage when Matt is gone 16 hours a day or when I feel like I've given all I can to Reagan during the day and there isn't anything left in the evening.
I know I have heard it before, but one of the speakers gave the airplane oxygen mask analogy:
"put your mask on, and then help others around you"
Our marriage needs to be infused so that we can give and display love to our children and friends and family.
This is the only picture we took of the two of us while we were gone. I even brought my good camera and everything, but the few pics we did take were with Matt's phone.
I guess it isn't as much fun to take pictures without a sweet little babe in them.
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Another thing that we discussed was the different roles God has designed for husbands and wives.
This was probably one of my favorite parts of the weekend!
well...and the marriage after dark session ;)
We broke up into groups of men and women...and then discussed our corresponding roles.
I have struggledin the past since having Reagan what my role is.
And I know some of that is in part to our society and their skewed view of success.
When you describe how the man is the leader of the home, and how a women was made to be his helpmate and submissive to his leading...it often leaves a bitter taste.
Being referred to as your husband's "helper" is not the vision most woman want.
I found it interesting that God even refers to Himself as our helper.
"Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the updolder of my life."
Obviously he wouldn't call himself an unworthy name.
I sometimes think as stay-at-home moms we feel we have to defend our families decision.
I see many people posting blogs and articles proving just that.
While I almost always agree I rarely try to post or say anything about it.
I know there is no swaying other people's opinions of us...of me.
I just need to know that in my heart that this is where I should be.
That this is where God has called me right now.
And how that if I am within His will nothing else matters.
A wise woman embraces God's design for her home.
While I may get more gratifaction from others if I worked outside the home.
That is not where I am called to be right now.
And that gratification will fall short in eternity.
I need to embrace this time at home.
They keep the weekend jam-packed.
When you aren't in sessions, they give you projects to take back to your room and work on.
Really the only free time was Saturday evening that they had set aside for date night.
I think it would have been a little different if I wasn't still breastfeeding. Pretty much on every break I had to run back to the room and pump.
.JPG)
I pumped off between 30-40oz a day.
I would have been in a lot of pain if I couldn't have pumped...
Anyway, back to the retreat.
They mentioned that every marriage is either moving toward oneness or drifting towards isolation. There isn't really an in between.
And that kind of hit home for me.
Even though Matt and I's relationship wasn't suffering, we had gotten quite comfortable and lackadaisical in our marraige.
It's sometimes hard to be intentional about my marriage when Matt is gone 16 hours a day or when I feel like I've given all I can to Reagan during the day and there isn't anything left in the evening.
I know I have heard it before, but one of the speakers gave the airplane oxygen mask analogy:
"put your mask on, and then help others around you"
Our marriage needs to be infused so that we can give and display love to our children and friends and family.
This is the only picture we took of the two of us while we were gone. I even brought my good camera and everything, but the few pics we did take were with Matt's phone.
I guess it isn't as much fun to take pictures without a sweet little babe in them.
.JPG)
This was probably one of my favorite parts of the weekend!
well...and the marriage after dark session ;)
We broke up into groups of men and women...and then discussed our corresponding roles.
I have struggled
And I know some of that is in part to our society and their skewed view of success.
When you describe how the man is the leader of the home, and how a women was made to be his helpmate and submissive to his leading...it often leaves a bitter taste.
Being referred to as your husband's "helper" is not the vision most woman want.
I found it interesting that God even refers to Himself as our helper.
"Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the updolder of my life."
Obviously he wouldn't call himself an unworthy name.
I sometimes think as stay-at-home moms we feel we have to defend our families decision.
I see many people posting blogs and articles proving just that.
While I almost always agree I rarely try to post or say anything about it.
I know there is no swaying other people's opinions of us...of me.
I just need to know that in my heart that this is where I should be.
That this is where God has called me right now.
And how that if I am within His will nothing else matters.
A wise woman embraces God's design for her home.
While I may get more gratifaction from others if I worked outside the home.
That is not where I am called to be right now.
And that gratification will fall short in eternity.
I need to embrace this time at home.
To love on my husband and children
To serve them
To respect and support Matt
To teach and train our children.
To choose to be the woman, the wife and mother, that God designed me to be.
Life is full of choices.
Life is full of choices.
It just clicked in my heart while they were talking, and my outlook has changed.
Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her:"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceitful, and beeauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:28-30
Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her:"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceitful, and beeauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:28-30
Yup, sometimes I don't get any gratification.
There are a lot of days that I don't get any breaks and feel like going crazy.
There are times when I see my husband succeed over and over again and can't help but feel like I am overlooked. That all my "behind the scenes" work is null.
But the Lord sees.
And that comforts my heart more than anything.
I know Matt notices too...and this retreat kind of opened his eyes to me needing his reassurance as well.
Let me just add a disclaimer that I have nothing against moms who work outside the home.
Because I know some people will read this and get all angry.
If we were in the position financially that I needed to work, we would figure out details and I would.
And if God laid on my heart that I needed to be outside the home doing something else I would definitely be praying and trying to figure out just where God wanted me.
That is not the case right now...so I am just writing this based on what touched my heart, and where we currently are in our life. So just keep that in mind.
So those were some of my favorite parts of the trip.
Some of the things I found interesting or that really hit home for me.
All in all I am SO GLAD we went.
I highly recommend that you go to a marriage retreat as well.
It was good for our marriage.
It was good for us individually.
And I am so glad we left Reagan.
The first time is always the hardest...and now I know that he (and we!) can handle it!
Let me just add a disclaimer that I have nothing against moms who work outside the home.
Because I know some people will read this and get all angry.
If we were in the position financially that I needed to work, we would figure out details and I would.
And if God laid on my heart that I needed to be outside the home doing something else I would definitely be praying and trying to figure out just where God wanted me.
That is not the case right now...so I am just writing this based on what touched my heart, and where we currently are in our life. So just keep that in mind.
So those were some of my favorite parts of the trip.
Some of the things I found interesting or that really hit home for me.
All in all I am SO GLAD we went.
I highly recommend that you go to a marriage retreat as well.
It was good for our marriage.
It was good for us individually.
And I am so glad we left Reagan.
The first time is always the hardest...and now I know that he (and we!) can handle it!
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