When your heart just hurts.

I have always thought death and heartache seem to come in waves.

These past few weeks it just seems like there has been one thing after another, and my heart just feels so heavy.

A young beautiful woman who was engaged to one of Matt's good friends. We were planning to go to their wedding next week.

A young energetic guy who was one of my cousins best friends.

Word of a couple really struggling in their marriage after losing a young child a short time ago.

A classmate of my sisters in critical condition from an accident.

This all just sounds like typical everyday stuff to most people.

But when it strikes over and over again in a small community it shakes us to our core.

That is the thing about small towns; when tragedy does strike...it really does have an effect on everyone.

As a small town family, we are hurting right now.

We are hurting for their families, we are hurting for their friends, we are hurting because we too in some way were affected and knew them.

Right now we don't understand, and we are going through all different stages of grief at all different times.

But one thing I do know, is we will eventually move on.

It may take weeks or months, but our lives will go back to normal.

We will still miss them, and we will probably think of them off and on, but our lives will more or less return to our same, typical, everyday life.

But for their families, the people they were closest to...their lives will never be the same.

They will always have that void in their life.

Holidays, and birthdays, big monumental life events...that person is no longer there with them.

So it is in that time that we need to remember to surroud them with love.

They will be overwhelmed with people coming by right now, offering sweet words, or just listening and crying with them. 

They will have people bringing flowers and cards and food a lot over the next few weeks and months. 

But remember to support them years from now.

Send them a card or give them a hug when you run into them.

Let them know that their loved one has not been forgotten - that their hearts haven't been forgotten.

I feel like I am pretty well-versed in death.

I feel like I have experienced it to quite some degree for someone of my age.

I feel like I know how to help others cope.

To know what to say or when to listen.

But if I am being honest...I am so scared of death.

I can't say that if I was to experience death so close to home like I did when I was younger that I would handle it with such grace as I handle dealing with the loss of acquaintances of other people I knew.

Actually, I am fairly certain that I wouldn't.

When I hear of all these tragedies and so much pain, I can't help but think that our world is still so flawed.
The Lord is coming one day to make all things new, but right now we will never experience heaven on earth.
There will always be pain and heartache.
One day our tears will be wiped away and we will be free from this world.
What is that quote from that song? "because the pain that you are feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming!"
And while that may fall on deaf ears and hurting hearts right now...we never know what God has in store, but I do know that we can't fathom how great the outcome will be!

I read earlier today something that said "don't pray for someone, when you can pray WITH someone." and I thought that was pretty clever.

While praying for people during this time is important, I think just coming around them and bringing them before the Most High when they are in such a vulnerable state could do a world of measure. Just being there with them and allowing them to feel whatever they are feeling and letting them know that it is ok. And sometimes...maybe you just need to cry with them.

Eddies obituary and an "in memory of Eddie" event keep popping up in my newsfeed.
Hundreds of people (literally) keep popping up and writing on Kassandra's wall.
I keep seeing people writing updates to how Kyle is doing.
All 3 of them are such special people. So energetic and so loved.
We will never be able to hide from it or push it aside and try to forget about it what happened - what is happening. 
So surround yourselves with people you love.
People to encourage you.
People to pray for you.
And know that it is ok to feel whatever you are feeling.
If you just want to cry..that is ok.
Or maybe you just feel numb...like...is this really happening?
If you are angry and screaming out...that's ok too. God can handle it.
Just don't try to do it alone.

           "For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them." - Matthew 18:20

I mean...what a better place to be than in the comfort of the Prince of Peace himself?