Is it the weekend yet?

This week has been hard y'all.
Matt got home after class tonight and plopped down and said "I am just so tired."
And I started crying.
This week has been so dang hard.

I haven't been able to be the adequate wife and mother that I want to be.
And Matt has been gone a lot with his classes starting.
He then gets home and tries to pick up my slack and it has just been ONE.LONG.WEEK.
Should I mention I haven't done a single load of laundry all week?
Woops.

I am a firm believer that there is always a silver lining and even though I have to pick myself up off the couch and refrain from crying hourly daily, there is a silver lining.

Reagan's sleeping schedule couldn't be more spot on and timed so perfectly.
He is sleeping typically from 9-10pm until 8am every single day. And he takes 2 - 1 and 1/2 hour naps a day.
We need the rest right now and this has been heaven-sent.

We also just found out that Matt's one class that requires him to sit in a lecture for 2 and 1/2 hours after work 3 days a week is only for TWO MORE WEEKS! The whole class lasts about 6 more weeks, but the time required in class is only two more...the rest is online. I almost cried when he told me. Two weeks without him is so much more doable than 6. He still has his 3 other classes, but at least he won't be gone all day. At least not for much longer.

Have I said it enough that we are so ready for him to be done?
I CAN'T WAIT!

Oh and remember how I said Matt took every Monday off until he was done?
Umm...yeah. I forgot about it and just remembered today.
Even though he may be doing homework the entire day I am so glad he will just be HOME!

All I could think this week was a mix of "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" and "the little engine that could."
We are almost there.

My husband - The Ferris Alum

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Hopefully this post is a kick-start back into a little bit of blogging, because I am sure you all miss hearing my thoughts and rants and raves about Matt and Reagan things I am passionate about.

So my husband graduated from Ferris State Univerity this past weekend!

What what?!

He has a Bachelor of Business in Information, Security, and Intelligence.

Watch out all you Internet users and criminals! :)

I am sure you ALL know my feelings on the matter, but if not you can catch up on this post or this one. Or just read any of my statuses or Instagram posts and you will know how over college we are. It has been HARD! He had a short week break between his winter semester and spring semester...and we got to go to bed at the same time every night. We were laying in bed one night talking...and we honestly couldn't recall the last time we went to bed at the same time. It was so sad. Classes and homework have consumed so much time over the past year or so.

We are so ready to be done.

And seeing him graduate was ALMOST the satisfaction we needed.

It was kind of bittersweet though, because he isn't technically done yet. He has a few more INTENSE weeks to finish off his degree. He will be gone in class after work almost every night. And he has a SATURDAY class. 8am-5pm. Seriously...just gag me now. Thankfully it is in Big Rapids...so I will probably just drop him off and spend those days up north.

So while we are so excited that we are THIS close to being done...his graduation would have been a little more exciting if there weren't these awful looming next few weeks ahead.

Thankfully though, he has a great job that gives him a lot of vacation time, so he will be taking off every Monday until his classes are done!

Can I get an amen and hallelujah?!

I am so proud of him and his perseverence.

Not only did he have the determination to finish, but despite his demanding schedule he still sought for his family to come first.

I tried to put Reagan to bed the other night..and Matt walked in and asked what I was doing. I said "putting him to bed." He said, "no...I want to...I thought that was my thing." And it's true. Other than the rare night that Matt has a final or a big paper due or something...I rarely put him to bed. Matt almost always steps away from his homework to put Reagan to bed.

I so so look forward to the day we are like a normal family. When he comes home from work and the rest of the evening is free! I am so looking forward to our new norm!

I look forward to going to bed at the same time every night!

Just a few more weeks!

The Home Stretch

As you can see I have changed things up again.

It is surprising how much time you have on your hands when facebook isn't in your life.

We are getting so much accomplished and it has been so good for our hearts to get away from it.

There will be a blogpost about that, you betcha.

One positive is the amount of time we have got to spend together.

As if I haven't made it clear enough about my frustrations about our current situtation and how it is lightyears worse than all other situations - it boils down to the fact that we don't get enough time toether.

Some of that is our fault.

A whole lot of facebooking, instagramming, twittering distractions get in the way.

And truck looking - I mean honestly...do you guys know all the different car apps? 

I do.

But I honestly feel like we do quite well for setting aside family time for when Matt is home.

However, if he isn't home their isn't much family time to be had.

We are so close to him being done with school.

So close to not having any more 15 hour days.

So close to having weekends and weeknights without homework.

So close to getting to go to bed together everynight.

 For Matt to JUST have work!

And as insane as his job is....it will be so freeing when that is ALL there is!

Oh happy day!

I don't know what we are going to do with all our free time!

Just kidding. 

I can think of about 5 million and 2 things to do. 

For now we take the snuggles as we can.

Even if it means cuddling up with daddy with a laptop and textbook right next to you.

 We are so close to being done, but this home stretch is rough.

A lot of in class classes.

Weekend, ENTIRE DAY, classes.

A whole lot more of Matt being gone.

I am so thankful that he got some classes waived and got all of his internships waived due to his current job. What a blessing!

We are so excited, but we are dreading these last few months!

We went to his graduation fair a few weeks ago to pick up tickets and his gown and all that jazz.  

It was so surreal.

We really are so close to being done.

I think I need to make  a countdown calendar or an old school paperchain to count down the days!

Dear Reagan - 12 months

I can't believe this is the last of Reagan's monthly updates.

I still can't believe he is one!

As a quick intro here is his progression over the year.
Newborn, 3m, 6m, 9m, and 12m.

My sweet boy, 

It seems like it has been a long time since your last update.

So much has happened this past month.

You weigh 22 pounds and are 31 inches tall!

You wear mostly 12 month stuff. Some 9 month stuff fits, but some stuff you need 18 month for the height!

You have 8 teeth.

You walk everywhere now.

Or actually run.

You are quick!

I took you for a walk yesterday...because it was 45 degrees...and you loved it!

You almost fell asleep in the stroller.

I let you out at the end of our road to see what you would do...and you just sprinted around giggling.

And you kept falling because it was really windy and it was pushing you and you were running so fast, but it didn't phase you at all...you just kept getting right back up and running.
You LOVE to be outside.
I can't wait until the weather gets a little warmer and we can be outside everyday!

 This is what 90% of our walk looked like - me chasing after you.
Don't worry...he wasn't falling. He was running away from me.

Per the usual: you are LOUD!

So so loud.

And you have this thing now where you scream.

Ugh...we are working on that...

You eat pretty much anything we give you.

You don't seem to like tomatoes though.

We mostly do finger foods, but we have been expanding to letting you eat 1/4 of a sandwich....or letting you hold a half of banana and eat it instead of cutting things into little pieces. You always giggle and act like such a big boy!

You are such a paci boy.

My goodness you love it.

I swear you store them in places around the house and then find them when you want them.

Your dad thinks it is hilarous.

I am dreading the day we go without...

You LOVE to dance.

It is so sweet :)

You always have to be moving, talking, dancing...
You always have to be doing SOMETHING.
There is no down time in your mind.
You even talk in your sleep quite often.

You are so verbal. Your doctor was amazed at your vocabulary.

You can say "mama, dada, oh, baba, hot, uh-oh, ball." As well as a whole lot of words that we can quite understand yet...

You still don't really have stranger anxiety. 

You love people.

You have always been independent, and that is following through as you learn more.

You don't want to be carried - you want to walk.

You don't want to snuggle - you want to be investigating the world.

You don't want us to brush your teeth - you like to do it on your own.

You are slowly figuring out how to use a spoon.

You like toys that you can figure out: Sticking pieces inside others, stacking stuff...

I think you would love puzzles...we may need to invest in a few :)

Welcome to one year, buddy!
We love you!

 

3 years.

Dear Matt,

I honestly cannot believe it has been 3 years already.

I remember waking up this day 3 years ago to a snowstorm.

I remember it feeling unreal that I was getting married.

I remember getting my hair and make-up done...and how everyone seemed much more anxious than I did. Numerous people commented on how calm I was.

I remember the chaos of having so many little ones a part of our ceremony.

I remember your mom crying...A LOT!

I remember getting our pictures taken and how cold it was.

Seriously SO SO cold!

I remember standing together and reciting our vows.

I remember driving to Grand Rapids and opening letters from our loved ones.

I don't remember much about the details.

What people said, or things we did.

If there is anything I learned these past three years though it was that we were just babies and didn't know much.

I remember several people telling us that we were too young and it was too soon to get married.

And I remember blowing them off and getting so mad.

Who knew that you would, ever so lovingly, point out later in our marriage that controlling my anger is something I need to work on.

Looking back now...we were young.

So young.

I didn't finish college...and don't have a career and initials to put after my name.

But that is a decision we made together.

We have struggled with you finishing college...especially now with a baby.

But in just TWO MONTHS you will walk across that gymnasium and receive that darn piece of paper...and we will be able to say...we did that! 

We were young and married...and had a baby...and you still got your degree.

And we paid for it on our own.

AND you were on the Deans List every semester.

I am proud of us!

We have bought houses...sold houses...moved...bought cars and sold cars...paid off a lot of debt.

We have gone through a long and pukey pregnancy!

We have had a baby.

We have known being TIRED!

And we have had so much fun together.

We have seen each other at our worst...and best.

We have found out just how selfish and strong-willed we both are.

We have struggled with learning to budget...and we have known financial freedom.

These past three years have been SUCH a learning curve for us both.

I remember standing on that stage reciting our vows.

I have no idea what those promises that I made to you were anymore...but I am pretty sure I have broken about 95% of them. We had good intentions, but we had no idea the reality of marriage when the lovey dovey honeymoon stage wore off.

We were young, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

We did all of our growing up together.

All of our decisions were made together.

We really learned to understand each other and truly know each other.

I can honestly say I love you so much more now than the day we got married...or the day that I was completely infatuated when you facebooked me way back in the fall of 2008!

It hasn't always been easy, but it really has been such a blessing.

Happy 3 years, my love!

The mom I am not.

I am a big fan of blogs.

I follow a lot of them and am encouraged by what other mamas have to write.

Their trials and triumphs.

Their stories.

I feel like I can relate to so many of them.

Knowing there are so many others in the EXACT same place as me.

Young and married with babies.

But one thing I am NOT is a morning person.

Another thing I am not is a coffee drinker.

I hate it.

I hate anything that has a hint of the flavor.

I see so many almost all mom's writing about waking up before their babies. 

Enjoying a coffee and some quiet time in the Word.

Part of me longs for that...that quiet time.

That peace and rejuvenation each day.

But then the part of me that says "my bed is so comfy" ALWAYS takes over.

I thought maybe it was just those newborn days and the phase would be short-lived, but here we are at almost a year and every single morning I drag myself out of bed when I hear Reagan in the moniter.

And even then I feel like I could sleep several more hours.

I am not the mom that wakes up at 6:00 and has the house organized and devotions done and breakfast cooked before the rest of the family wakes.

I am not that mom.

I am always tired.

I don't know why.

I still think it has to do with my hormone issues.

And no mama, it is NOT my iron levels! :)

If I could sleep 11 hours a night...I would!

EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.

I still long for that time though...that time without kids that I can relax and rejuvenate and spend time in the Word.

So what works for you?

Is this just a phase...and someday I will become THAT mom?

Or if you despise mornings too...what routine have you found?

Can we just pause for a moment?

Can we just pause time right here for a moment?

I have never felt like Reagan was growing up too fast.

I looked forward to all the milestones: smiling, crawling, talking, eating finger foods...walking.

And now that he has conquered them all I just want it all to stop.

Or at least slow down a little bit.

 

Just this morning he walked all the way from the kitchen to our couch. 

That is all the way across the house!

Up until last night all he had done was walk short distances, but now he is REALLY walking.

Like he owns the place.

I just want to pause and remember this "toddling" phase. 

How he will take a few steps, and then pause and squat to catch his balance and then continue on.

How he says "uh-oh" EVERY.SINGLE.TIME that he or I drop something.

Which tends to be about 450 times a day.

How he reaches out for us when he is tired or scared or on the rare occasion that he wants to just snuggle.

How he gets SO EXCITED when I bring out a food that he loves...

...and throws a fit when it is something that he doesn't quite love so much.

The other day I made him up a whole plate of his own finger foods, on his own little baby plate, so that he could eat for real like Matt and I.

I had cheese in a section and bread in a section and some fruit in a section.

He was ecstatic! He kept looking down at his little bumblebee plate and then looking at us and smiling.

It is so funny how he understands stuff now. 

Like crazy understands.

What we say, how stuff works, his toys...he understands a lot more than we give him credit for.

 

And how it frustrates him when he can't get it right.

He LOVES those little baby squeezee packets, and he loves to play with the top of them.

He will take it off and put it back on for an hour.

He can get it placed perfectly back on the packet, but can't quite figure out how to twist to make it lock back in place and it makes him so mad!

His dancing!

Every time music comes on and he will start bouncing and shaking his hands up and down.

 

How he talks!

I swear he does.

I mean other than his typical "mama, dada, oh, uh-oh, yeah..."

He will repeat what we say all the time and it sounds exactly like what we had just said.

On more than one occasion while we are out and about he will be talking away...and someone will come up and ask how old he is and make some small talk...and 3 or 4 times in the last few weeks they will say "wow...it seems like he is really talking!"

 

Peek-a-boo ALL.DAY.LONG!

I love how he thinks he is hidden behind something and then will pop out waiting for us to notice.

And how he darts back and forth so quickly that we don't even have time to say peek-a-boo.

I honestly feel like I blinked and he is almost a year old.

I look forward to watching him grow and learn even more, but I LOVE this stage right now and I already feel like it is slipping away...